The Linda B James Blog

12 Signs You're In A Toxic Relationship and 7 Ways To Survive "Ragged Love"

Mar 19, 2014 11:00:00 AM / by Linda B James


"Anybody can fall in love but not everyone
has the skills to survive the fall."- LBJ

Sally B.:  Linda, I need help with my relationships... I feel as though my relationship problems are getting the best of me!  What can I do?


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How do you survive ragged love?

Sally, relationships are among the most important reasons why we exist; they are exciting, interesting, romantic and complex.

They can also be a nightmare!!  Think about it... love is truly blind!  How do two virtual strangers get together without emotional, criminal, mental, financial and background checks and still manage to get along? There is no manual to tell you what makes the other person tick.  There are no road signs along the way to guide you.  Is it any wonder why over 50% of marriages fail?  Getting out of a bad relationship becomes extremely important to your wellbeing.  First, you need to understand the signs of a bad relationship.

What do you do if you're at war instead of in love? Letting go of a bad relationship...

Below are 12 signs you're likely in a toxic relationship:

  1. You have one-sided conversations and you are left out.
  2. Your feelings are irrelevant to your partner
  3. There is an unjustified complaint list with your name on it.
  4. You are unhappy, feel berated and belittled
  5. You argue to the point of exhaustion and never get the last word
  6. You walk on egg shells because the relationship has endless emotional landmines
  7. No free speech. You can never speak you mind.
  8. Your closest friends and family members notice a difference in your personality'
  9. Put downs are commonplace. .
  10. You are in a worst emotional state than you were prior to the relationship.
  11. Your self-confidence is at an all-time low
  12. You relinquish all of your control to your significant other 

 How do you survive a toxic relationship?  Below are seven ways to exit a bad relationship:

  1. Invest in some "me" time - Spend time away from the relationship. Leave your emotions out of the process as you think.
  2. Weigh the ups and downs - Evaluate the pros and cons of the relationship.  
  3. Talk to a Friend or Professional - If the cons significantly outweigh the pros, confirm your findings with a trusted friend and/or mental health professional.
  4. Decide, Plan and Take Action - Then plan and prepare to move on with your life. 
  5. Reconsider.... maybe - If the pros significantly outweigh the cons, the relationship may have a chance to survive. .
  6. Be ready to move on! - Remember it is ok to ride solo until you find someone who values and respects you.
  7. You could be looking for love in the wrong places. Read a book on relationships and start a relationship book club. Think about on-line dating.  Anything to give you more options...

Take time to rebuild your broken heart.  Without a solid plan, a support network or a clear idea of what you will or will not tolerate, you may find yourself right where you started. 

A rich, rewarding relationship awaits you!

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Topics: RELATIONSHIPS - Love and Intimacy

Linda B James

Written by Linda B James

Radio/TV personality, speaker, media coach and lifestyle expert. Known as The Lady With The Moves and the author of the Simple Treasures series.