The Linda B James Blog

Fall On Deaf Ears

Oct 5, 2014 11:59:00 PM / by Linda B James

Fall on Deaf Ears
Seven Ways to Detect and Defeat "Dream Enemies"

"Naysayers are the gatekeepers
standing at the entrance of your dreams."
—Linda B James (LBJ)


Why are you shooting me down? I’m trying to be succeed!
BEWARE OF DREAM THIEVES! The people whom you think are on your side might not be strong supporters.  Why not?  Don't people want you to do well ? It might not have anything to do with you, but more with them.  Maybe life has burned them and their fears are superimposed on you.
In the movie The Pursuit of Happyness there is a powerful moment when the father is talking to his son and he says "don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something not even me." He goes on to say that a dream must be protected.
Keep in mind, the road to success brings many unwanted visitors and feelings.
Just when things are "starting to pop", the naysayers arrive...  It is not surprising.  And when things don’t go well, they gloat in your downfall.  Remember to ignore the person who brings along his or her baggage loaded with unsolicited advice, unwelcome opinions, unsupported facts, and unwarranted objections.
Naysayers are "dream enemies", perpetual pessimists and skilled antagonists.

Seven Ways to Detect A "Dream Enemy"

When you hear these phrases, you know the unwanted visitor has arrived:
  1. “That’s impossible.”
  2. “It will never happen in a million years.”
  3. “It is a waste of time.”
  4. “It is pointless.”
  5. “It is hopeless.”
  6. “It is clearly a no-go.”
  7. "There is no way, give it up" 
Now, you want to scream, “Don’t judge me, support me!"  
Don't fret.  Below is your plan to overcome these problems.

Seven Ways to Defeat "Dream Enemies"

  1. Keep a secret:  Don’t tell naysayers your every move.  They will trample on your aspirations.  You are under no obligation to share your dreams with them, so don’t.  They do not have to know what you are thinking today or planning tomorrow.  Keep them guessing.

  2. Know-it-all:  How can they possibility tell you that you will not succeed?  Where is the proof?  Can they look into your future?  Have they traveled down the path where you are going?  What kinds of experiences do they have in any related field?

  3. No thanks:  Stop trying to convince someone who is not in your corner.  You can use this energy to build your dream instead.  Don’t engage in discussions about your goals.  Tell them that you don’t need their advice.   You don't need approval to move forward with your life.

  4. Switch topics:  If you want to retain the friendship (I challenge why you would), talk about other things you two have in common.  Hang out, have a laugh, but stop the discussion when it turns to your personal goals.  Stay in control of the discussions.  Switch the conversation from your goal.  

  5. Do you know me?  Perhaps the naysayer is unaware of all your capabilities.  They have not seen the range of your talents and accomplishments.  They are underestimating your strengths, based on limited knowledge.  Enlighten them or spend your time moving toward your passion.  Weigh your options.  Which one is most beneficial?

  6. Fan base:  Find friends who empower you.  It is important to have people around that are on the same page.  You need to share and celebrate your victories... with THEM. 

  7. Stand tall:  Could jealousy be behind the naysayer’s drive to dissuade you?  They have not made it and they do not want you to make it.  Teasing is their way to tear you down.
Undoubtedly, the road to success comes with plenty of potholes, debris, detours, bumps and of course naysayers. You have to pave your own path and leave a trail.  Muster up all of your courage, discipline and knowledge to navigate your way to success.  Keep a postive attitude, focus on your goals and pursue your dreams.  Remember, your dreams are precious and priceless.  Believe in yourself.   All in all, it is your responsibility to take charge of your dreams
To your success, 

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Topics: Personal Growth, RELATIONSHIPS - Friends and Friendship, Mental Toughness, Persistence

Linda B James

Written by Linda B James

Radio/TV personality, speaker, media coach and lifestyle expert. Known as The Lady With The Moves and the author of the Simple Treasures series.