The Linda B James Blog

Four Ways to Defeat the Ghosts of Your Past - Part 1

Jul 27, 2014 6:30:00 PM / by Linda B James


“Wallowing in self-pity keeps you suspended in the past.” -- LBJ

English novelist Charles Dickens has been widely acclaimed for his novel A Christmas Carol.  In the story The Ghost of Christmas Past is the first of three ghosts to haunt Ebeneezer Scrooge.  The spirit appeared to show Ebeneezer the error of his ways and the mistakes he had made in the past.

The modern day Ghost of Christmas Past can be called, “The Ghost of Regret.”  This pesky spirit can make it difficult for you to bring closure to the past, paralyzes you from taking action and prevents you from realizing the future you deserve.  How do you get rid of it?

Four Ways to Defeat the Ghosts of Your Past - Part 1

Understanding the Ghost of Regret

To have control over this spirit, you must first understand it.

  • Why does it visit you?
  • What is wrong with living with it?
  • How do you stop that ghost?
  • Why it is important to celebrate when you finally get rid of it?

To answers these questions,
let’s first explore why this ghost visits you...

To haunt you.  This ghost appears every time you wallow in self-pity after making a mistake.  The images of the past become more vivid.  Objects, places, events and people remind you of situations you so desperately want to forget.  The more you try to push the experience out of your mind, the more it lingers.  

You've been haunted this way, haven’t you?  Regret is literally paralyzing.  It spreads and engulfs you.  It develops into other debilitating emotions like self-destruction, depression and other dangerous thoughts.  It can "eat you alive" day and night. 

Every minute, day and hour the ghost of regret becomes more stubborn.  You "second-guess" yourself, agonizing over what you did or didn't do.  You feel so stupid that you can't undo the damage.  You're trying to understand the error of your ways to no avail.  You are "in limbo."

You spend too much time recalling past hurts, fears and transgressions.  Every uneasy thought evokes flashes of pain.  You cringe, cry and hurt but the ghost will not disappear.

What’s wrong with living in the past? 

  1. You're not fully engaged in your life!  You are stuck in between your past and present reality.  Physically you're present, but mentally you're still in the past.
  2. By living in the past, you miss opportunities in the present. 
  3. Friends and family become tired of seeing this ghost tag along with you.
  4. The ghost controls all your decisions.
  5. Your positive spirit is suppressed.
  6. You struggle to be happy.
  7. Past wounds won't heal.  There is no closure.
  8. Your mind is not at peace
  9. Your self confidence is diminished
  10. You are sad
  11. You don't feel motivated.
  12. Your health and appearance take a backseat.

What is the point of allowing a restless spirit to run amok and haunt you?  

Read part 2 of this blog to discover how to make this ghost disappear and never return!  

To your success,



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Topics: Personal Growth, Mental Toughness

Linda B James

Written by Linda B James

Radio/TV personality, speaker, media coach and lifestyle expert. Known as The Lady With The Moves and the author of the Simple Treasures series.