Aretha Franklin sang about it. The late Rodney Dangerfield joked about it. And, we talk about it. What is it? RESPECT. If your relationship does not have an adequate amount of respect it is most likely doomed.
Many dictionaries define respect as an attitude or feeling of deference and honor for someone or something. Here is my definition: respect is setting boundaries. It is honoring yourself and people whom you love and cherish.
There are three important types of respect:
- respect for your mate
- respect for a group
How Respect Leads To Healthy Relationships
Respect in a relationship means observing clearly defined rules. It's establishing "lines" that you never cross.
Having respect will give you the ability to:
- R - restrain from dishonoring yourself or loved ones
- E - end arguments peacefully
- S - set high standards and keep them
- P - patiently deal with conflict
- E - ease your partner's hurt with kind and loving words
- C - consider the feeling of others
- T - try to avoid temptation
Can You Pass The "Respect Test"?
I have created a three-part "Respect Test" so you can evaluate your level of self-regard. This is important because relationships can be so challenging. If you don't have a strong foundation your relationships and you will suffer. I normally give this test in my seminars to help audience members improve their love relationships. You can take the Respect Test right now!
No worries. There are no right or wrong answers. ONLY yes or no answers. These are simply thought-provoking questions.
The Respect Test
- Do you love yourself?
- Have you forgiven yourself for past mistakes?
- Are you honest with yourself?
- Do you hold yourself to a set of standards, morals and/or convictions?
- Is your conscience your guide?
- Do you take care of your body?
- Are you easily influenced by people who think less of you?
- Are you too needy?
- Do you treat people like you want to be treated?
Respect for your mate
- Are you a co-dependent (do you enable you mate to disrespect you?)
- Do you think long and hard before you do something that would upset your partner?
- Do you find yourself sneaking around your mate to do something you enjoy?
- How often do you lie to your partner?
- When arguing with your mate, do you chose to win the argument or settle the dispute?
Respect for a group or family
- Do you think twice before shaming to your family's reputation
- Do you brag about your family accomplishments?
- Do you feel a "twinge" of shame when you think about your family?
Respect and honor starts with you. Before you enter a relationship you must have self-respect. If you are already in a relationship make sure you give and expect respect.
Wishing you continued success in your relationships!