The Linda B James Blog

The Hidden Art Of Flirting - Part 2

Aug 2, 2014 11:30:00 PM / by Linda B James


This blog is a sequel to Part 1, where I explored the hidden art and hidden truths in flirting.  In Part 2, I will cover the subtle flirty actions of men.

Flirting is a subtle sexual language that can be hard to detect.  A skillful flirter is as sly as a fox.  He masterfully uses many techniques unbeknownst to his lover.  The skillful flirter is too sophisticated to make ogle eyes or drool to signal his interest.  He relies on his peripheral vision, creativity, intellect and the proximity to his target to make his moves.  These actions happen in a flash.  They take microseconds to execute.  Don't blink or you may miss the gestures and signs.  They are hidden in plain sight.  If you don't know what to look for, they will go unnoticed.

If you suspect your man has a wandering eye, be on the lookout for these signs:

Signs of a man's "wandering eye"

  1. "Over the top" helpfulness and kindness
  2. Tries too hard to make the object of his attention laugh or smile
  3. Gazes and looks away, as if he doesn't want to be caught staring
  4. Looks over your head or behind your back to get a glimpse
  5. Mirrors his target's gestures
  6. Flashes or talks about money
  7. Fixes his clothing
  8. Positions his torso in his target's direction
  9. Tilts his head while talking to her
  10. Smiles inappropriately
  11. Tries too hard to have a witty conversation
  12. Stares into her eyes with intensity
  13. Appears nervous and uncomfortable 
  14. Bursts into nervous laughter
  15. Casually touches her body while talking (arm, shoulder, back, etc.)
  16. Asks too many personal questions
  17. Blushes in his target's presence
  18. His eyebrows are raised and pupils are widen 
  19. Stares in her direction but pretends to be focusing on something else
  20. Brings a glass or eating utensil close to his mouth to hide the fact he is looking at her
  21. Starts an argument with you so he can move closer to her
  22. Walks unnecessarily in her direction.
  23. Pretends to be listening to you while playing close attention to his target
  24. Sweats more than usual
  25. Hooks his hands on his pockets and around waist area
  26. Makes excuses to move closer to the object
  27. Touches or bumps into her accidentally

What do you do?  Here are some final words:

  • If you feel "in your gut" your partner is doing something out of the ordinary, look more closely.
  • Follow his pupils.  The roving eye never lies.   He will not notice you because be is preoccupied.
  • Pretend you don't notice.  The more you seem distracted the more relaxed he will be. 

In no way am I endorsing these methods.  I am just providing useful tips to detect the danger signs.  If you are uncomfortable with his actions, discuss the issue.  As I mentioned in part 1 of this blog, the flirter will mostly likely not confess when confronted.  However, he is now on notice.  

There are three ways this scenario can end:

  • He is basically an honest man - If he lies when confronted, give him a one-time "pass."   If he truly loves and respects you, he will honor your concerns.  He will also do everything in his power to never disrespect you again.  
  • He is a habitual liar - this is nothing new, he's done this before.  This is a danger sign.  The writing is "on the wall" and you have been forewarned.  Head for the exit!
  • He is defiant -  he lies when confronted and insists on flirting.   There is little hope for this relationship.

In my next blog, I will cover the Hidden Art Of Flirting - Woman style! - Part 3

To your success in love,


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Topics: RELATIONSHIPS - Love and Marriage, Personal Growth, RELATIONSHIPS - Love and Intimacy

Linda B James

Written by Linda B James

Radio/TV personality, speaker, media coach and lifestyle expert. Known as The Lady With The Moves and the author of the Simple Treasures series.